Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I feel horrible now...i just wish i could die!!!

this is de first time i m actually feeling so horrible...i m trying my best to refrain from killing someone but now since i m already exploding...de best is to finish myself off...i really cant take it any longer...

well imagine being hurled insults at, having ur pride n dignity hurt, trying ur best not to explode n reason out well with all ur might n finally having some ignorant other ppl interfering saying tt i m teaming up n ganging on a p6 kid!!! WAD MORE CAN I EXPECT?!!! 2 WEEKS! ISNT TT ENOUGH TO TORTURE ME N EVEN KILL ME???!!!! WAD DE HELL DID I DO IN DE FIRST PLACE HUH?! SINCE U HATE ME DEN SCRAM! U TINK I M A PUSHOVER? TELLING OTHER PPL STORY TT ARE NOT TRUE BOUT ME?

HEY I M A HUAMN BEING...N A SENSITIVE ONE! DO U THINK ITS FUNNY TO CAUSE PPL TO GET SUICIDAL?! IF UR ANSWER IS YES, I M TELLING U NOW, I M SUICIDAL! DONT U EVEN NOE DE LIMIT? U PUSHED ON N ON N TINK TT OTHERS CAN TAKE IT? SINCE U TINK ITS FUNNY Y DONT U LAUGH NOW? N EVEN AT MY FUNERAL? AT MY GRAVE?

I HAV BEEN TRYING TO KNOCK SOME COMMON SENSE INTO U BUT NONE SEEMED TO WORK! I TALKED POLITELY, N EVEN HARSHLY, BUT U SEEM OBLIVIOUS DONT U? U WANNA TORTURE SOMEONE TO DEATH B4 U R ACTUALLY SATISFIED ARENT U? WELL LEMME TELL U THIS! I HAV BEEN TRYING NOT TO KILL U, NOT TO BLOW UR BRAINS OUT NOT TO STORM RIGHT UP TO UR HOUSE N STRANGLE U, NOT TO CALL IMMEDIATELY TO UR PARENTS N COMPLAIN LOADS OF CRAP BOUT U TT MAY END UP WIF U GETTING BEATEN...

NOT TRYING TO TAKE UR PICTURE N SCRIBBLE MADLY ON IT, NOT SCOLDING VULGAR AT U, NOT SCREAMING AT U, NOT EVEN USING CAPLOCKS NO MATTER HOW MAD N FRUSTRATED I GET!!! NOT HAVING U CHOPPED TO PIECES, NOT HURLING STONES RIGHT AT UR FACE, NOT POURING HOT OIL OVER U, NOT HAVING TO HANG U OVER DE TOP FLOOR WITH A THREAD TIED TO UR HAIR!!!

NOT EVEN GOING ONLINE N SCREAM IN UR FACE, NOT GOING TO UR SCHOOL TO COMPLAIN TO DE PRINCIPAL, NOT REPORTING SPAM ON U, NOT SUE-ING U, NOT PUNCHING UR TEETH OUT, NOT SCRIBBLING USING BLACK MARKER ON UR FACE, NOT PRESSING UR FACE UPON A STOVE, NOT BURNING U OVER A BBQ PIT, NOT PLUCKING UR HAIR OUT ONE BY ONE, NOT DIGGING UR EYES OUT N ADMIRE DE SOCKETS, NOT EVEN SCOLDING U!!!

N WADS WIF DE CONTROL? NOTHING!!! THE MORE I TRIED NOT TO DO DE STUFF MENTIONED ABOVE, THE MORE U LURE ME CLOSER OF DOIN SO! HEY GOIN OVERBOARD NEEDS A LIMIT TOO! I ACTUALLY ALLOWED U TO CALL ME BITCH, SCREAM AT ME WITH VULGAR, N I EVEN DEFENDED U AGAINST DE SPAMMER! WAD BOUT U? IF I M HERE TO TI LIANG U, WHO ELSE IS THERE FOR ME?!

I HAVE NO SHOULDERS TO CRY ON, I CANT TALK ON DE PHONE, I CANT CRY FOR FEAR OF GETTING WHACKED, I DONT HAV FREEDOM TO GO OUTSIDE N VENT MY ANGER, I CANT TAKE A STROLL DOWNSTAIRS FOR SOME FRESH AIR, I CANT EVEN GET MYSELF TO CRY! DO U NOE HOW TERRIBLE IT FEELS TO HAV IT ALL BOTTLED INSIDE N NOT LETTING IT OUT? DID U EVER THINK OF HOW I FELT? ISNT TT ENOUGH TO TORTURE ME ALREADY? OR U WANNA SEE ME DEAD DEN U R HAPPY? IF SO, I ALLOW U TO KILL ME ON DE DAY OF UR CHALET!

I GAVE IN REGARDLESS OF ALL DE INSULTS HURLED RIGHT AT MY FACE! I EVEN SMILED N TRIED TO CALM MYSELF BY NOT EXPLODING! BUT DO U NOE THIS REALLY HAS GONE TOO FAR? I M A HUMAN, A GIRL N A SENSITIVE ONE FOR TT MATTER! I HAV FEELINGS LIKE U DO! I HAV TOLERATED WIF U FOR 2 WEEKS!!!ANY ORDINARY HUMAN WOULD HAV DID DE HORRIBLE THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE AS LONG AS U SPAM FOR ONE DAY! DO U NOE HOW HORRIBLE IT FEELS?

NOW SINCE I CANT GET MYSELF TO KILL U I MIGHT AS WELL FINISH MYSELF...WAD IS DE POINT OF LIVING IN A WORLD, BEING DE VICTIM N ACCUSED TO BULLYING DE PERSON TT IS ACTUALLY BULLYING ME? IF I M THERE TO UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL N NOT BLOW UR FACE OUT, Y CANT U DO THE SAME?!

WE ALL HAV EMOTIONS N NOT MANY OF US CAN LET IT GO WEN NEEDED...I NOE IT WAS RUDE OF ME TO HAV QUARRELED WIF U THROUGH DE TAGGS THIS AFTERNOON N LEAVE U SPEECHLESS...I FELT GUILTY N READY TO APOLOGISE...BUT DE NEXT MOMENT WAD DO I SEE WEN I COME IN? I SEE SOME ONE U TOLD COMING HERE TO SCOLD ME TO SCREAM AT ME FOR GANGING ON U! I M DE VICTIM HERE ALRIGHT! N I TELL U I HAV HAD ENOUGH!

THIS IS MY FREAKING BLOG N IF U DONT FREAKING WANNA GET OUT N WANNA TEST MORE OF MY PATIENCE, WANNA RELEASH DE DEVIL TT HAS BEEN TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM WITHIN ME, WANNA MAKE MY TEMPER RISE, WANNA SEE ME DEAD, GO AHEAD, SPAM SOME MORE, HURL MORE INSULTS AT MY FACE! TELL EVERYONE HOW MUCH I SUCK N HOW MUCH U ROCK! GO ON, I ALLOW U TO...EXCEPT TT DE CONSEQUENCES WOULD BE DIRE!

I NOE GOOD ALWAYS OVERPOWERS EVIL, BUT HEY THERE IS A LIMIT AS WELL! I CANT END UP GETTING KILLED FOR NOTHING N FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT CAN I? IN FACT SCOLDING U NOW RIGHT HERE IS BRINGING ME BAD KARMA N I MAY LAND UP IN HELL! BUT HEY, I WAS THOUGHFUL...FOR DE PAST TWO WEEKS I WAS TRYING TO BE KIND TO BE NICE TO BE REASONABLE...BUT WAD BOUT U?

U DONT SEEM TO REALISE DE DAMAGE U DID, DO U? DONT U NOE TT HURTING PPL PRIDE N MAKING THEM FEEL LIKE THEY R AT DE BOTTOM OF SOCIETY CAN REALLY HURT? I M TRYING NOT TO KILL U FOR DE PAST TWO WEEKS BUT HEY THERE U R GIVING ME DE KNIFE, TELLING ME TO END UR LIFE! I REALLY HAV A LIMIT TO MY PATIENCE OK! N LEMME TELL U THIS, IF U WANNA CONTINUE GO ON! FOR ALL I CARE! AS I SAID, THIS IS MY FREAKING BLOG, U DONT FREAKING WANNA GET OUT, U SHALL FREAKING FACE DE FREAKING CONSEQUENCES!

N WADS MORE SO WAD IF U R A P6 KID? I M OLDER N TT DOESNT MEAN I ALWAYS HAV TO GIV IN TO U! EVEN IN TIMES LIKE THIS WHEREBY I M LIKE DE VICTIM, I M STILL GIVING IN TO U BECOZ ONE FREAKING PART OF ME IS TELLING ME U R STILL MY COUZ AFTER ALL! SO WAD IF U HATE ME? CANT U LEAVE ME ALONE? DO U HAV TO GO TO DE EXTENT OF DOIN THIS? N IF U TINK I HATE U, LEMME TELL U THIS, I DONT! BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER ALTHOUGH U TINK ITS DE OPPOSITE...

I DONT MIND U SAYING U RATHER CHOOSE A FRIEN OVER A COUZ LIKE ME! I DIDN SAY U WILL CHOOSE ME DID I? BUT LEMME TELL U THIS, IN TIMES OF NEED, COUZ WILL HELP EVEN IF FRIENDS STAY AWAY! TOO BAD U REFUSE TO LISTEN N CONTINUE INSULTING ME HW I ACT CUTE N STEP YI GE!

LEMME TELL U THIS, FOR ONE LAST TIME I DONT FREAKING CARE! IF U FREAKING WANNA SPAM, THEN DONT BLAME ME FOR BEING HARSH! FREAKING HELL! NO MORE MISSY NICE GIRL FOR U! GETTING UR WAY FOREVER WILL NOT BRING U FAR ENOUGH TO MINGLE WIF SOCIETY! IMAGINE U DID SOMETHING RONG AT WORK N U START CRYING? U TINK PPL WILL GIV IN TO U? I BET U GET FIRED ON DE SPOT FOR NOISE POLLUTION...

N LASTLY, A GENTLE REMINDER...GET DE HELL OUTTA MY BLOG COZ I NVER WANNA SEE U HERE AGAIN! I DONT EVER WANNA HEAR ANY INSULTS HERE...IF U WANN DEN COME RIGHT UP TO ME N TELL IT TO MY FACE! U TINK TT SCOLDING PPL FROM BEHIND DE SCREEN KEEPS U SAVE? I BETCHA GET INTO TROUBLE! IF U WANNA SCREAM VULGAR, COME ON, SCREAM IT TO MY FACE...DO SO IN FRONT OF UR PARENTS, IF U DARE...WADS DE POINT OF HIDING BEHIND DE SCREEN HUH? U TINK I ENJOY QUARRELING WIF U? ITS WASTING MY TIME N GETTING ON MY NERVES! U LIKE TO BE A PAIN IN DE NECK HUH? COME SCOLD ME RIGHT TO MY FACE U COWARD!

U TINK I CARE WAD U TELL OTHER PPL? U N UR WADSOEVER FRIENDS! PLS LAH GET DE HELL OUT, U R NOT WELCOMED HERE ALRIGHT? NO USE TRYING TO MAKE USELF LOOK SO BIG HERE! FANCY GIVING MY NUMBER TO OTHER PPL AS WELL! HOW DARE U! I CAN GET U INTO TROUBLE EASILY BUT I M NOT DOIN SO COZ I STILL HAV A HEART! A HEART TT TELLS ME U R MY COUZ! BUT U R RIPPING IT APART! N ONCE DE LAST PIECE GETS TORN N THROWN AWAY, U SHALL SUFFER DE CONSEQUENCES!

FINALLY, I HOPE U WILL NVER DO TT AGAIN...NOT ONLY TO ME BUT IT APPLIES TO EVERY OTHER PPL OUT THERE! IF U WANN TO, SPAM UR OWN BLOG! HAV A TASTE OF UR OWN MEDICINE! SEE IF ITS NICE! N FREAKING GET OUT OK! I M NOT LETTING U HAV UR WAY FOREVER AS LONG AS I LIVE! ITS HORRIBLE TO SEE U GROWING INTO SOME HIDEOUS MONSTER IN FRONT OF ME N NOT SAVING U! SO FOR ONE LAST TIME, GET BACK TO UR SENSES BEFORE I KNOCK SOME INTO U!

THANZ 4 READING IF U DID! HOPE U R HAPPY TO SEE ME FEELING SO HORRIBLE... FROM A GIRL FEELING TERRIBLE: YIJING

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|2:31 PM|


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