Tuesday, September 16, 2008

terrible day...tried to be happy but everything just puts me off...

todae came to sch as usual...damn pissed coz my mom scold me say wad i slow later she need to speed den accident den i will be happy...?!? wad crap lah...i didnt u noe curse her n she say until i so bad...so black faced i went to my class...

terrible mess its in but i dont really care...my head started spinning (literally) n i was like damn dizzy...wrote all de stuff on de board n rested on my table (wif my mp3 plugged in of course)...doesnt really work coz my head was throbbing...

assembly was down at the parade square...was feeling better n stuff...joked round wif rachael to make myself happier...den counted de people...no one absent...devotion was very long...n just sat there trying to sort out some things in my mind, which eventually became unsolved...

first period was Science n we learnt bout digestion...was being disturbed by desmond n his name calling habits...den i just sianz diao...

next was Malay n de teacher came up wif a new rule...those who wann go toilet must ask in malay n must also answer her question...lol she asked things tt i sorta noe but i wasnt goin to de toilet so too bad...lol

den was recess...i ate noodles n drank green tea...den went up after a while n wei qi told me go giv 2H their newspaper...cant be bothered so i left them in de pigeon...wah he even told me to throw rubbish for him...diao nvm i control...

den was Maths n teacher went through de trigo worksheet tt cracked my brain n killed my cells ytd...so confusing although i managed to understand a little...i guess i will never be good at maths...den tt fabian keep stuffing his papers under my table den i was damn pissed...4 times he say only twice...so irritating...

next was geography n after a while we went to de geog room...air con was cool n yah rachael had de goosebumps...lol like polka dots like tt...i was quite cold but becoz inside me, i was fuming so everything evens out...

den was CD n de teacher taught bout pornography...everyone was wide awake...(usually 3/4 of de class will be slping)...den de teacher dragged our recess...

during recess i plugged n blast my mp3 n went to slp...i slept until jairia need to wake me up coz de teacher come ler i still donno...so standing up to stretch, i felt something wet on my cheeks... JACINTH KISSED ME AGAIN!!! wad de hell...just wake up nia come gimme shock...i was like JACINTH GRACE...BLAH BLAH BLAH yeah scolded her like siao lor...this is de third freaking time she kissed me liao leh...wad the...

den was assembly on cyberbullying n stuff...damn sianz quite funny but just felt sianz lor...need stay back 7 mins coz de dm say so...den i remembered i waved to didi den he was walking backwards wen he banged into a girl...lol he apologised n i can see tt he is damn paiseh...well i m partly to be blamed too coz i waved to him...=x haha

den after assembly was so late n i feel so tired so i didnt turn up 4 chinese tuition...den tt desmond suffocated me wif tt dumb cushion n i seriously almost died...he just pressed it into my face from behind...wad the hell...wad feeling damn pissed so i just breathed in n out...n told myself to relax...den wen i was bout to go tt dumb fabian came n hit me in de back...real hard...wad the hell lah...n tt desmond tried poking me n end up hurting my waist...

y my class all like to come attack me wen i m emo de...wah lao...if its de way of making me happy,i would like to say ITS NOT WORKING!!! FREAKING HELL LAH! LUCKILY I CONTROLLED OR I WOULD HAV HAD EXPLODED AT SOMEONE...wad de hell lah...

these few days i had been trying to sort out de incidents tt happened quite long ago but its like killing me...was it right to like him? wad would i answer if he asked? why must he barge in n ruin my life...i feel so miserable i could cry...i just need a shoulder to lean on for a sense of security...but i couldnt find any...i wanna scream n shout everything out, but i cant...its just getting bottled inside again...n it will accumulate until de day i explode...so till den, i donno wad i m capable of doin...haiz...

i wanna just boom n explode n die so tt all these miseries will be get rid of...but i cant...commiting suicide? well perhaps not nw, i m not at the level where i can just die...but i noe i m reaching it...all i can do now is treasure the stuff around me in case i dont live to see them anymore...

well thanz 4 reading n hava nice week...or rather hav one tt is nicer than mine...from a damn emo girl: yijing ='[

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|9:09 AM|


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