Saturday, March 29, 2008

A brilliant morning, a terrible afternoon n the worst evening ever...=[

todae is Qing Ming Jie so yeah i woke up a around 6...cant really sleep the night before as i was having lots of nightmares...wont go into detail...anyway, my uncle n aunt came 2 fetch my father, my brother n i 2 the temple 4 some prayers before heading 2 the cemetry 4 more prayers 4 my grandfather...at the cemetry, we saw lots of lime plants n picked loads of them...i picked angsana seeds though...well, on the way 2 another temple, i persuaded my dad 2 let me spent the whole day wif my aunt's kids...they had a carnival in their school...he agreed n yeah i was elated, thinking that it was the best day of my life...but the worst was yet to come...my mom told me through the phone after i told her bout the carnival..."oh i decided 2 change the baby visiting of my aunt to todae" that really ruin my fun! its like i m halfway reaching heaven n she pulled me down 2 hell...well, i pratically hushed n my aunt help me tell my dad...well, i would like 2 thank my aunt 4 that n yeah i went 2 the carnival...THE CARNIVAL OF JOY N HAPPINESS! so yeah i brought my cousins 2 the different booths n they seriously had loads of fun...we had Macdonald's 4 lunch n i was high-ing madly wen a phone call came...it was my mother..."i will be fetching u in 30 mins...there is a dinner n u hav 2 attend it..."my spirits died down together wif my cousins'...my mom pratically spoiled my fun...yet AGAIN! i was sad, n minutes later, indeed she came n just dragged me out of my fun filled day into a place of darkness...well, the dinner was delicious n it was actually 2 celebrate my uncle's birthday...den Jia Qian wanted me 2 stay over at her house 4 a trip 2 Pasir Ris Park the next day...although my mind was filled wif the words, that's impossible...never could that happen, still there was still 5% of me willing 2 give it a try...well my cousin wanted 2 ask my mom 4 me...in the end she chickened out n ran back 2 the car...leaving me to answer 2 my parents 4 the delay caused...i did, n obviously its just like running into a big enormous trap...large enough 2 be seen kilometres away...a good scolding i was given...or rather, THE WORST SCOLDING EVER! the worst thing was that i didnt noe wad 2 do...if i admit defeat n admit my own mistake by keeping quiet, my mom will tink that she has total power of me n the scoldings would b terrible...but if i defended myself, i would be called as a rude, ignorant n useless girl who only noes how 2 answer back 2 my parents...n that scolding is terrible too...i didnt noe wad i should do, admit or defend n in the end i chose the hard way, defend...as expected, showers of scoldings came down on me, pressing me down n make sure i reach hell...i just couldnt take it anymore...y cant i be like other ppl who can enjoy childhood wif parents that shower them wif love, care n concern?? Y must i be so EXTRA?? i noe my parents regretted giving birth 2 me, but since they did, cant they just show me the little love that i need...the care that could get me back on my feet?? Y do i feel so terrible, so unloved in this world of hatred?? the least she could do is show me some signs of love, cant she?? but no, she hate me n regret my birth...i m always stupid in her eyes, the worthless, useless crap that can nver be praised in her eyes no matter wad i do...n now even the chair n tables at my aunt's house hated me...i gt a deep scratch that bled from them n my mom dont even care...its like i deserve it...ok maybe i do, in my terrible world...wadeva it is, i guess this shall be another night of weeping n sorrows... n i tink i would drown in them someday...thanz 4 reading n make sure u hav a better week than me...yijing ='[

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|2:49 PM|

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